My husband walked out 5 weeks ago in the middle of a midlife crisis to "try" a relationship with a co-worker who was going through problems with her husband after she kissed him the week before and he turned into a 16 year old boy again. That was 2 weeks after our 26 year anniversary when he sat with several other co-workers and told them how much he adored me and couldn't live without me.

He left in the middle of financial and work trouble. My grown kids (one in college and one who lost his job and had to move in with us...) are on their knees about this. I've completely come to a screaming halt in my life trying to figure out what has happened.

The other woman, is living with him because she has left her husband, and now he's refusing to communicate with me except over email because "she doesn't like it", and we only communicate about bills and kids. I know she's trying to alienate him from everything because he told me two days ago that he thinks his daughter is only being nice to him to manipulate him. That's daddy's little girl and he'd never say such a thing unless it were put into his head. She's steering the boat. I've had people call and tell me all kinds of things about her...her control issues, that she's volatile and manipulative and throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way.

I've done everything wrong since this started.like cry (how can you help it), beg (crying didn't work), take the blame...it felt like my fault, and offer to change (this has changed me...how could I not). All of those things, as predicted has sent him further away.
Everything tells you how to communicate...but he doesn't communicate. He's suffered with depression issues over the years...we've dealt with it. He's a wonderful man but i can't get to him anymore, because she's in the way. I worry for him because he has other health issues and she's not going to care about those.

She was the bookkeeper at his job where he was a manager...he lost his job over this because he was in a position of authority and it's not allowed...and besides that, she was the wife of the owner's best friend...which my husband tells me he did not know until 4 days ago...she's lied to him since this whole thing started. She's walked away from her church and her husband who was an elder there...and dares anyone to judge her for it. Everyone who knows this man says he loved and adored her and is just crushed by what she's done.

He told me he'll be filing for divorce because "she" wants to start this with a "clean slate"...it's been five weeks! I told him, you don't know this woman. Just slow down. He said he's trying to get to know her. I've lost my health insurance, my income, everything is behind, I don't know how I'm going to finish paying for my daughter's last year of college next year, and my daughter has medical issues that we have had to put on hold because he lost his job and insurance... Everything talks about communicating, but he's not communicating...so I can't figure out where to go.

I know his midlife crisis issue is a process...and I don't want to get over him. He's my heart and I've been in love with this man my entire life. If he had said that he loved her,, had been in love with her for a long time, I'd understand it...but that's not the case. He told me he still loves me, just has to take this chance to start his life over. This woman is sitting there watching his life, everything he's worked for, everything he was proud of and loved and adored be destroyed...and she's ok with it, because she'd sit and starve with him before she'd lose this game she's playing.

Will you PLEASE, please, please pray for his conviction and for him to return to God and his family? And pray for both their conviction that their [b]behavior is hateful in the sight of God. I'm needing something to happen that makes sense and heads him in a direction where he's in safe harbor again.

heartbroke,
I joined this forum today with a similar situation. We have only been married for 11 years though, so my children are praying with me too, but not understanding exactly why. I don't understand what causes a man to leave everything good in his life, everything he can be sure of (a marriage of 26 years) for anything or anyone.
I will pray for your husband and ask you to do the same for mine, that God remove His hand of blessing on these men until they get right with Him and bring them to their knees before Him. I pray that God tears out all strongholds the devil has placed in your husband's life that would separate him from God and from you.
Please know I feel for you and with you and will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Dear Kalhun98,
You are already in my prayers...I've been praying a hedge of thorns around him so that only spiritual things can get in and her influence cannot...and that she will turn away.

you are in my heart

What an incredible heart that you have...I pray that he will have his eyes opened and return to God. To understand fully what he has done and the impact it has on you and your children. We live in a fallen world where the grass always seems greener. But that is only the devil's way of getting into our hearts to move away from our relationship with our true Father in Heaven.

I pray that you might have reconcilliation and healing in your marriage. Whatever happens...know that God is in charge all the same. Keep in prayer and in lock step with your church too.

God bless...